quick update about today!

tuition in the morning from 10-12 which wasn't anything special since we alr knew all the stuff that was covered.
and i wish k-lin was teaching us instead ):
her lessons are always really interesting!

anw, after tt pong philby jocelyn and i met yujun at united square for lunch.
philbert pong and i had to leave early so we left jocelyn and yujun alone to enjoy some private time haha!
met jason, grace and xinlei at orchard mrt and we made our way down to orchard hotel for the PSC thingy.
sat through MAS and PSC talks, then walked around the exhibition booths area.
nothing much i think, especially since it's practically the same as the RJ Scholarship day.
but even after today and the load of extra information, i'm still not sure what i want to do!

sometimes i wish i was the kind of person who knows absolutely what he/she wants to do later on in life, but alas, i'm still as indecisive as ever.

When i was young, i always wanted to be a doctor.
but the thing is, i have no idea why.
and unless i manage to do some soul searching and come up with a really good reason why i want to be a doctor, i'll still feel abit apprehensive going down that path because of the long years of study, the cost, and the fact that once you're in, there's no backing out.
studying to be a doctor is so specialised that if you decide later on in life that being a doctor is not for you, you might not really have the skills to pursue anything else unless you go back to studying.
and the whole finality of the situation is pretty daunting.

earlier on in secondary school, i decided that what i really wanted to become was a marine biologist and study dolphins and sea mammals and corals and marine life and such.
it was a pretty idealistic career because for some reason i feel an attraction towards marine creatures, not to mention my swimming background and such.

then as i grew older and became more pragmatic (and after doing some research online), i realised that such a job offers no stability because money is based on research grants and there is no steady income.
that might sound mercenary, but although money is not the most important factor to me, i guess i'm still pragmatic enough to realise that it is still quite significant.

other careers i considered included being a veterinarian of course.
but then i don't want to be yet another vet owning a private practice and competing with the numerous vet clinics already out there.
and i don't want to treat dogs and cats and dogs day after day and perform countless boring sterilisation surgeries (which is pretty much what they did when jason and i were at a clinic for an attachment).
if i become a vet, i want to treat wild animals, like in a zoo, or in a wildlife rehabilitation centre.
i would like to be out on the field in South Africa chasing lions/rhinos/elephants and darting them and giving them checkups and tagging them to help in conservation efforts. (yes i'm probably influenced by too much animal planet hoho)
but what are the chances of that happening?

and then recently, i found myself questioning my previously rock solid conviction that whatever i do when i grow up has to involve interacting directly with living things.
i.e. no economics, finance, business yadayada
but these areas of study are usually the pragmatic ones, and having a degree in one of them means you have a wide range of employment opportunities.

which means, of course, that since my range of choices has widened considerably, it's getting harder and harder to arrive at a conclusion.

sometimes i wonder whether my interest in a subject/area of study is due to my genuine passion for it, or whether it's only because i'm telling myself that that is what i should like.

confused?
well, i am too!

but it's time to sleep,
so good night!

(class BBQ at xinlei's house tmr! (:)

It's amazing
How you can speak
Right to my heart
Without saying a word,
You can light up the dark

-Ronan Keating